I Had A Plan.

I Had A Plan.
The pills were laid out. Four different prescriptions, over fifty pills to consume. I had hit my limit with the growing darkness in my mind. The voices were too loud to ignore, and I followed their guide. I wasn’t afraid to die, I was scared to keep living. Continue reading

He Tells Me I Am An Incompetent Mother. I Disagree.

He Tells Me I Am An Incompetent Mother. I Disagree.
Ever have negative, invasive, repetitive, unwanted thoughts that can strike you at any moment? Those overwhelming feelings of guilt? They can come out of nowhere and hit you like a ton of bricks. I struggle daily with anxiety and depression, whether I have a reason or not, I feel guilty all the time. I feel guilt so strongly that I can sometimes feel paralyzed. Most times the opposite happens and I end up... Continue reading

Staying Together for the Kids

Staying Together for the Kids
I scrambled my thoughts to decipher pros and cons to staying together. Being a young mom is unnerving enough without topping the label off to “single mom”. Have you ever found your heart crushed so badly that you can never imagine placing the shattered fragments back together? My entire being was tattered and shredded, and what was worse, I was seven months pregnant when he did what he did. Marriages are not perfect and the best take a lot of work, so how was mine different? Continue reading

Older Mommy Friends

Older Mommy Friends
I was nearing forty years old when I became a mom. All of my friends had kids when we said we would, in our 20’s to early 30’s, and have preteens and teenagers now. Mine? He’s two, almost three. Not the age a preteen or teenager wants to be around usually, at least most preteen and teenagers don’t. Obviously, making mom friends my own age is tough. Being that I have struggled to find common ground with friends my age, I have resorted to making mommy friends with the twenty and thirty somethings. Continue reading

My Dearest Smarty Pants

My Dearest Smarty Pants
I have been asked one solitary question a lot over the course of my child’s rearing. This question is not so easily answered, it’s complicated. A part of me wants to tell the world that every child has the capacity to learn and absorb the same way as my child, but I have to wonder if I truly believe that myself. Still, this question constantly rings in my ears, like a tribal drum pounding out its cries, beseeching answers in the distance. How does your kid do it? The answer is... Continue reading