Older Mommy Friends

Older Mommy Friends

In my group of mom friends I am the oldest mom, it’s tough because, I was the last to have kids and there is a huge age gap. The only thing we truly have in common are motherhood and maybe a few other things like coffee and wine, the rest is, well, non-relatable. Making friends who are my age and whom have older children is daunting at best.

I was nearing forty years old when I became a mom. All of my friends had kids when we said we would, in our 20’s to early 30’s, and have preteens and teenagers now. Mine? He’s two, almost three. Not the age a preteen or teenager wants to be around usually, at least most preteen and teenagers don’t. Obviously, making mom friends my own age is tough. Being that I have struggled to find common ground with friends my age, I have resorted to making mommy friends with the twenty and thirty somethings. This crowd caters to my need to resonate on my kiddo’s behalf, while the friends my age listen to my forty something struggles. Unfortunately, I look at my younger friends as superficial and, perhaps, just acquaintances. I do so because, I have collected these women in the ever famous “mom groups” we are all so drawn to.

I have met a few of these lovely ladies in person and we talk and plan play dates, but life does get in the way. I work full-time outside of the house. I leave the house around 6:45 a.m. to take my son to day care by 7:00 a.m. and get to work by 8:00 a.m. Then, I work all day and drive home to pick up my son by 5:00 p.m. We get home and have dinner by 6:00 p.m. and then we are ready for bed. So, while most of the moms are planning play dates during the week, I am one of the few that only have weekends available. This doesn’t seem to work with a lot of other moms who have kids my son’s age.

The other problem I have with meeting other moms and making friends, is that I have turned into somewhat of a homebody. As much as I want to venture out, so that my son and I put ourselves in a position to make friends, I love being at home as well. It’s relaxing. At home, there is no one shaming you about what you give your child, or how you parent your child. The other thing is, me and my husband love to spend time together. I know, crazy right? Spouses that actually want to spend time together and talk? We love spending time as a family too, so we rarely have a babysitter. This means that most of our date nights are family date nights. I do recognize that I need my girls night out too, which I am thinking of planning for my 40th birthday coming up. I don’t want anything too extravagant or crazy. I just want to hang out with a few girlfriends for a few hours and then go home to my family. In order to have that happen, I need friends here. I have a few, but most of them are back home in Southern California where I grew up. I really need to just get out there.

That’s where my favorite mom group comes in, Hello Minder. A Tinder for moms looking for friends. I am so happy and thankful that I found this group. Actually, I set a play date with a mom from another mom group, when she told me about Hello Minder. Then, I met another mom whom I already knew from the doctor’s office on Hello Minder as well. Both are amazing moms and great women to call friends. My son loves to play with their kids too.

Something we learned from our occupational therapist for my son this morning, he wants to be everybody’s friend. He also is empathetic and feels for others when they are sad, angry, upset, bored, etc. He would make such an amazing friend to any kid his age. So, this mama needs some mom friends, and that’s just what Hello Minder has provided for me.

Janie and Jack Sale on Now
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