It happens every day. Multiple times a day. I receive a text or a phone call and the first question asked is, “How are the kids?” If you are a mother like me, you know this all too well. “How are the kids,” is a question we answer to just about every person we talk with, whether it’s online, in person or over the phone. People want to know about the kids. Well, what about me? I want someone to ask me how I am doing, how MY day going, what’s new in my world,
I think as mothers we have trained people to ask about the kids. It’s imbedded in our DNA to talk about our offspring. We share pictures on social media, we introduce our kids first when meeting a new friend at a play date. Mothers always put their kids first, and I’m not saying that is a bad thing. However, in doing so, we have trained society to inquire about the children before ever wondering about the mother. It’s no wonder why so many mothers feel they aren’t supported or invisible.
How can we fix this? It starts with communication. Moms, we need to start talking about ourselves more. And not in a “proud mommy moment” kind of way. What is Karen up to? How is Bethany feeling today? What did Sarah buy for herself lately? Moms, you have a name. Remember that name that you were given at your birth? Use it. You aren’t just Susie’s mom. You are more than a mom, you are a woman who brings something special to the world.
Friends, try asking your mom friends how they are before asking about the family. Ask Karen specifically what she is doing. We have to retrain our brains to recall and retain that moms are not just moms. Motherhood can be isolating and take over our entire lives. Feeling that people genuinely care about what is happening in the world of mom, not surrounding her kids, is how we show more support to our child-rearing friends. Talk about her first. Don’t worry, a mom will always talk about her children, so you will get that update too. Let’s start the conversation asking about how Sarah is as a woman, not as a mother. #morethanmom